Struggling with nerves has no age limit

As we boarded the truck to make the short trip to the school for this year’s first cross country practice, Riyann was visibly struggling to find motivation. Although her sister was filled with giddiness and anticipation Riy seemed a bit off. As I watched the girls through the rear-view mirror, I could see her ringing her hands, as if she was repeatedly attempting to remove some undesirable item. Looking downward, with her chin seemingly resting on her chest, I decided to intervene.

As I asked the child if she was alright, with a nervous tone, she replied that she was good. Pushing her further, I asked “are you sure,” to which she began sharing with me that she was very nervous. As the words began to flow from the little girl’s lips, she revealed a great deal of apprehension about today’s practice: Will her new coach like her? What if she doesn’t do well? What if she comes in last? As I listened to her pour her heart out, I couldn’t help but feel for the child.

Following providing some encouraging words, we arrived and off the girls ran to confront their fears. As they met up with their team, I couldn’t help but think about how many times I have felt the same angst as Riy had. With each new adventure, each new job, move, transition, each seemed to come with a moderate amount of fear and anxiety. Would I be able to handle it? Had I made the right choice? Would I be able to impress? All questions that would eventually be answered but for me at the time, The thoughts of future ease were overtaken by the immediate anxiety of the unknown.

Eventually, I would press on and find that my fears were misplaced, and my ease did in fact return. But for the moment, life simply felt wrong. As I watched the girls practice, I could see the fears lift from my child as she found her place once again within the confines of her team. Excitement filled the air as the girls returned to the car, following practice. Little Riyann excitedly shared that she didn’t come in last place, in fact she beat five other runners. Upon adding that the new coach was “pretty cool” she voiced her excitement over the team this year.

As the warmth of pride began filling my body, the pride every parent understands, was unavoidable. Today, my child learned a valuable lesson in this life. She experienced what each of us experience repeatedly through life. Each new encounter comes with the ever-present apprehension of the unknown. The key, my friends, is to not allow the unknown and the fears that come with it to overtake us and in the end affect our ability to excel. It’s easy to avoid the unknown, hoping to bypass our fears and apprehension, remaining in our protective bubble of what and who we know. It just feels safer there.

It’s only through commitment to progress and sheer will that we too can overcome these fears and experience the adventures of life. It’s OK to feel angst and fear when confronting the unknown, it’s just not OK to remain in that fear. Be like Riy my friends. Let’s face our fears and move forward with the pleasant anticipation of the awesomeness which lies before us.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from 9 to 29.