Longing for acceptance

Sitting in the living room, my wife and I could hear the faint sound of one of the cats meowing. As our eyes met, the cat’s tone was as if she was calling out for someone to simply notice her. With smiles affixed to our faces, both my wife and I knew what was soon to come.

As I turned towards the sound of the meowing, I saw a sight which has become more and more routine and has created humor for my wife and me. As the cat rounded the corner, I could see that she was walking in a proud manner, head high, exuding strength and stature. In her mouth she carried a piece of Lilli’s clothing. As with the days prior, the cat strutted past my wife and I, walking out of sight, disposing of the clothing along the way.

Although frustrating and a bit embarrassing for my daughter, our family has repeatedly got a kick out of the cats’ nightly routine. The tiny pet seemingly longs for the acceptance and love of her pint-sized master, regardless of the attention she already gets. She simply waits till the coast is clear and all is quiet to strut her stuff. Our family has talked about the behavior on more than one occasion, trying to figure out what the cat is doing and why. To be honest, our research hasn’t been designed to curb the behavior but to merely understand more. Because in the end, it has become kind of fun watching her nightly trek with clothing in tow and Lilli’s resulting fright and the chase that ensues.

As I did my best to uncover why the cat would engage in this behavior, I found out that she was merely wanting to remain close to the scent of her beloved human and when she hadn’t seen her in a bit, she began searching for her, proudly displaying the harvest from her latest hunting adventure. Our little cat seemingly only wanted the acceptance of her human and felt the need to nightly ensure she knew the cat was still there and useful.

As I considered what I had learned, I immediately thought about how often each of us goes out of our way to obtain the acceptance of others. It appears we so often compare what we have, how we do things, and how far we’ve come to the accomplishments of others. Who knows why, maybe as a means of validating our own lives. In the end, it seems we spend a great deal of time chasing what others think about us and we ultimately get lost in our own journey of finding out who we truly are.

We must remember that every second we spend comparing our life to someone else’s is truly a second wasted. What truly does it accomplish? Rather than building on our strengths we become accustomed to gauging our successes and failures on an ever shifting plain, determined by other people rather than what truly determines success. Friends, stop comparing yourself to others, seeking their acceptance or approval and create your own definition of success. Be like the cat, strut proudly while seeking out those who truly add to your existence and happiness.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from 9 to 29.