Goodbyes are hard, but not forever

As the evening came to a close the feeling of sadness filled the air. What had been a week of joy and utter elation quickly transitioned into a solemn mood of downright depression for the girls. In the morning their storybook week would come to an unfortunate end with the departure of their siblings. Doing their best to put aside their knowledge of their brother and sisters heading back to their own home in Florida, the kids did their best to get the maximum amount of horseplay in before bedtime.

The past week had been different from those before. The normal infighting that siblings often experience was not present. In its place was seven days of continuity, agreement, and outright fun. The bonds of family had been strengthened and learning new things became commonplace between the herd of children occupying the Stephens property. Although as parents, we prepared for the normal backlash of behavioral issues that often result following a week with siblings, the pulled heart strings were unavoidable as I looked deep into my children’s eyes. Within their eyes, the joy had been overtaken by the expression of sadness from their temporal loss.

As with each time before, the girls will recover and become stronger because of their time with family. The memories of another opportunity to strengthen bonds will reign supreme before long. But still, the moment is a tough one. It seems that no amount of convincing that everything will be alright, no tricks, strategies, or attempts to prove that they will survive fall upon welcome ears. Time it seems is the only thing which will lessen the feelings of loss.

Sitting down, this week, to write a column for a local newspaper, I felt the same sense of loss and sadness. As I rendered memories of my past with my father to paper, my gladness that the suffering ceased and I had the opportunity to learn so much from the man was overshadowed by the knowledge that the hugs, words of wisdom, and smiles would be something I would have to wait for from now on. My temporary loss, with his passing, would forever be my plight yet eternally be his joy at no longer suffering. Loss and goodbyes are difficult.

For some, the loss builds, for others it remains a constant. One person quickly recovers while another just can’t pull themselves out of the chasm of sorrow. One thing I know for sure, my friends, is that although difficult, goodbyes are simply a state of mind. For me, I choose to not look at them as permanent, rather I center on my belief that goodbyes are temporary. If sorrow stems from a loss the knowledge of an eventual reunion lessons the burden.

Goodbyes are hard, there’s no way around it. The key to overcoming the feelings of loss is centering on the journey. Remembering the roads traveled, smiles shared, touches felt, and experiences we have together. It is then that those goodbyes seem a little less imposing.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from 9 to 29.