Glimpses of change are arriving

As I sat, experiencing a moment of silence, my wife’s words shook me out of my solace.

“She’s growing up”, she declared, as she spoke about how our youngest daughter has begun mimicking her elder sister in many of her actions. As I turned to look at my child, the fact was evident that my little girl was shifting from early adolescence to the dreaded pre-teen stage of her behavioral development. The only thing I could say was where had the time gone, although to be perfectly honest, I felt the urge to say… oh heck no!

With each recognizable change in my little girl, I felt an inward battle of sorts. One part of me longed for a lifetime with my little girl, playing dolls, joking, and simply wanting to be held by dear old Dad, fully dependent on me. The other part of me draws excitement over the growth of my baby.Through each accomplishment, I can’t help but long for the days of old. I thought about how out of nowhere the moments of constant smiles and hugs were rapidly being replaced with unrecognizable mumbling and distance. The same bedroom floor where we had played with Barbies and stuffed animals on so many evenings had begun to transition to closed bedroom doors and silence as adolescents do whatever they do to avoid contact and simply find some much needed alone time.

The inquisitive, wide eyed little girl is growing and now able to find answers on her own at times and with each success, my heart leaps for joy while simultaneously suffering from the knowledge that she may not need me anymore. Although still her favorite, according to her, the inclusion of new friends is beginning to create distance of sorts. No one ever said parenting was easy.

What’s a dad to do? As glimpses of change begin becoming more and more prevalent within our children it is difficult for not only parents but likewise for our babies as they follow through with our direction to act and sound like us. It is difficult to watch as our babies become self-sufficient and no longer in constant need of our direction. Although necessary, I’m simply not a fan right now, it’s happening way too fast.

Friends, hold on with all you got to our children’s childhoods, those hugs, those smiles, those silly repetitive questions, and the goofy nature of being a kid. We must hold tight to those moments while being adult enough to release our grip a little bit so they can grow as we hope they will. Sacrificing our own feelings for the betterment of our children’s growth is difficult yet important. Sure, we never want them to grow up, cherishing each word and action, but growing up is what we prepare them through all our efforts. My little girl is growing up, and through the tears, I will encourage her to keep moving forward, experiencing everything this life has to offer because it is then that I am fulfilling my purpose.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from 9 to 29.