‘It’s OK to cry, Daddy’

As many of you know, the past couple of weeks have been a series of peaks and valleys for my little family. With the failing health of one of my wife’s beloved pets and the loss of two other pets, it seems we are nearing another moment of grieving and loss. We have strived to spend as much time as possible preparing not only ourselves but the girls for what will surely come. Last night, I sat speechless as my daughter assumed the role of comforter and parent.

As our eldest pet struggled to maintain life, she experienced an incident where I was sure we had lost her. Working through the wails of loved ones, I worked diligently to bring the tiny pet back to us. After regaining her balance, she rested quietly in her bed while our family ensured she knew she was valued and loved, not knowing how much time we had left with her. I sat back, allowing my girls to have the spotlight to grieve.

As I sat reeling, I felt a tiny hand on my shoulder. As I turned, I saw my child, lowering herself to my level so she could impart a small amount of wisdom on her old dad.

As the little hand rested on my shoulder my daughter looked gingerly into my eyes and explained, “It’s OK to cry, Daddy.” Doing my best to maintain my stern dad, protector vibe, I smiled and simply responded that I knew, and I appreciated her. She then patted my shoulder gently and added, “Daddy, you are not a cop anymore...you can let your emotions out and cry...it’s OK now.” This little girl went on to say, “It’s OK to feel and let your emotions show, Daddy.”

For what seems like a lifetime I have filled the role of protector, placing all emotion aside for the betterment of the situation. I have held the lost and dying and put on a welcoming face to ease the suffering of those around me. Not unlike me, many of us worry little about our own personal health and emotion when confronted with the pain of others. My hope is that our children do not have to counsel us on the benefits of allowing our emotions to show at times. For if we remain strong while allowing our pains to release through healthy emotion, it is then that the continuity of the entire family unit can blossom.

Will I ever be able to show raw emotion, I do not know, but doubt it. But one thing I am confident in is that I have a little person who has my back and will remind me that it’s OK. May you find your battle buddy my friends, that one person who through thick or thin can remind you about the value of each other, gently placing their tiny hand on your shoulder assuring you it’s going to be alright.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from nine to 29.