Parents, don’t stress over small stuff

With the present school year entering its final quarter, the girls have begun some of the more enjoyable aspects of elementary school.

As a parent, we have become accustomed to receiving notifications from teachers about the themes the next week would encompass.

Sunday we were notified this week would center upon reading, with each day bringing forth an opportunity for the girls to get into character. Today was a day set aside to celebrate travel and concentrate upon how reading can take you to faraway places, full of excitement and joy.

As Lilli spoke, non-stop, about creating a passport and wearing tourist-related clothing, Riyann simply sat back and began thinking. Following a brief brainstorming session, Riyann inquired as to the possibility of swinging by the motel before we went to school so she could retrieve a dress.

Thinking nothing of it, and with my best fatherly thinking, I instantly found an opportunity to make this a win-win situation for everyone involved.

You see, each new morning involves a great deal of prodding and wake-up reminders for Riyann. She would not be considered a morning person so the struggle of getting her up, dressed and groomed is real. Negotiating the retrieval of the desired dress allowed me to provide her with some added motivation.

I must say, I was proud of myself for coming up with the plan.

As I woke my children up, I made sure I reminded Riyann about the fact that she would need to hurry. With exact precision, the likes I’ve never seen before, the child quickly got dressed.

I dropped the girls off at the door (of the motel) and asked them to hurry as I entered the office to retrieve an item I needed. As I completed my task, I saw Riyann quickly running to the vehicle and entering back in her place. I thought to myself just how awesome I must be to finally find a means to motivate my babies.

Following our normal daily routine, I loved on the girls and spoke of how exciting the day would be (while dropping them at school). I watched as they exited the vehicle.

It was then my self-prescribed thoughts of awesomeness and being a strategical genius came to a screeching halt and were overtaken by a voice in my head saying, “what on earth is that child wearing.”

Or better yet, “What on earth is that child wearing…. wait that’s my child.”

In my haste to meet time restraints, and my gloating at my awesome motivational prowess, I had forgotten one of the most important aspects of raising children. That being, given the opportunity, a child will devise the most interesting clothing selection possible.

As I watched my lovely little lady walk away, long dress flowing, looking like a combination of both a goth-styled Cindy Lauper and possibly a younger version of Stevie Nicks, I noticed a smile on the face of her principal. I’m sure she was attempting to hold back laughter, with the primary theme in her head of “who would dress their child in this manner.”

Confused still at what my child was wearing and how she so elegantly got away with changing, I began feeling my anxiety rise.

It was then that I heard my child reveal to her principal the motivation behind her dress.

The child happily disclosed to Ms. Jackson that today was a day about how books can help us travel and her outfit symbolized that. Ms. Jackson smiled and encouraged the child.

As I drove away, a calm came over me. I began thinking about how sometimes it’s just not worth it to stress the small things in life. For it is when we can be ourselves regardless of what everyone else thinks, it is then that we can fully blossom.

Now, I’m not advocating allowing our children to choose their clothing consistently, for if we do that, there’s no telling what this world will come to, but rather not be to be constrained by the confines of societal norms.

Maybe that’s just what our world needs, more pure hearts willing to explore, finding joy in an old Halloween costume perfect for that day’s theme.

I’m relatively certain that I will have a lot of explaining to do when my wife sees her chosen clothing for the day. Hopefully, she too will see the comedy in it all.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from eight to 29.