Domestic violence awareness month

To the Editor:

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Many have heard the national statistics, such as one in five women in our country will find herself in an abusive relationship at some time in her teen or adult years. It is fairly easy for most of us to say, "Gee, that must be awful for all those poor women who grew up so differently from me and mine." And it is. Of course, it's also awful for each of those who grew up just like us and still finds herself isolated, verbally abused and physically assaulted by the person she trusted most to care for her. And it can be just as awful for her family. Last year, 32 Missouri women lost their lives to their male partners. Another 14 children or other witnesses to the domestic violence were also killed. In the same year, five men were killed by their female partners. In 2012, there were 15,321 arrests in this state for the offense of domestic assault or violation of an order of protection, or nearly 42 arrests per day.

From 2005 to 2010, 78 percent of sexual violence involved an offender who was a family member, intimate partner, friend of acquaintance, and approximately one half of the assaults took place at or near the victim's home.

And for 60 percent of all homeless women, domestic violence is a factor. Many women seeking shelter for themselves and their children have few or no family supports in place. That doesn't make them less significant than those of us who can turn to family and friends in a time of crisis. Some would say that, in fact, it simply means that we have a greater responsibility toward them. At Haven House, we are working to reduce violence and homelessness for those in crisis. We are grateful for the fundraising and volunteer efforts that our community has continued to pour on our work for the past 27 years. Mostly, we are grateful for your prayers. I saw a sign at a local church that said "Prayer doesn't change God, but it changes the one who prays." I am convinced that prayer is the catalyst for many who roll up their sleeves and put their faith to work.

We are serving nearly 1,700 women annually in our hotline, shelter and court advocacy projects. We are currently averaging 24 women and children nightly in the shelter. We are working with the courts to hold those who abuse accountable, too, with an average of nine men attending a weekly, court-mandated batterers intervention program. We have seen women take charge of their lives and their futures, setting positive role models for their children. We have seen men rethink belief systems that allow them to batter those they say they love.

But apparently, according to just released crime statistics in Missouri, we have a long way to go. We are up for it, if you are. If you are interested in working to end domestic violence and homelessness for women and children, please give us a call. We will find a place for you!

Mary Ann Allen

Haven House Executive Director