Sweating like a what now?

Last week my fellow staff writer Amber Hornbeck used the word “womperlooly,” meaning “something large, crazy and/or messy.” This got the whole office on the topic of regional expressions, to which I added a rural East Central Illinois-ism that I’d only ever heard between June and August and in proximity to corn fields: “I’m sweatin’ like a steam fettah!”

Then I mentioned I had no idea what a steam fettah was. Happy for an excuse to procrastinate, we all hit the internet.

As is the case with sayings you hear since birth, I’d developed a theory over the years about its origin but never actually spoken to anyone who confirmed or denied it. In my mind, a “steam fettah” was probably some ancient piece of steam-powered farm machinery chugging around the fields with a lot of pistons and whistles and a boiler covered in condensation. Younger Samantha was proud of her amateur detective work on this theory.

Unfortunately, a quick Google search poked some holes in it, the largest being there’s apparently no such thing as a “steam fettah” or, adjusted for hick accents, “steam fetter.”

There are, however, steamfitters — a subset of pipefitters who specialize in pipes carrying high-pressure steam, water or other materials. That makes sense, I thought, banging on a pipe capable of exploding in my face at any moment would definitely make me sweat. However, my co-worker Barb Horton pointed out steamfitters would be more likely be sweaty because they run hot steam through the pipes to check their seal, probably in confined spaces to boot.

That’s much more reasonable, but I think my original explanation was cooler.

I hope this story has introduced an extremely regional phrase to Southeast Missouri, but I won’t sweat it.

Samantha Tucker is a staff writer at the Daily American Republic and can be reached at stucker.dar@gmail.com.