Unexpected gifts in unexpected grief

As I traveled home the other day I began thinking about how truly blessed and how totally undeserving I really am. As many of you know, my little families’ lives were changed drastically in 2015. Prior to that day in March, life was good. I had successfully completed my stint as a single father, raising my daughter to become a successful citizen.

Life was good. I met the love of my life and began settling into my new life. New goals and aspirations began unfolding as we planned for an early retirement. Hoping to get away from the center of town my wife and I decided to begin researching properties in rural Carter County. Out of nowhere, a beautiful home, a great deal larger than we needed became available at a low price so we jumped on it, purchasing the home. Looking back, our life truly fell under the watchful eyes and design of God. For what we didn’t know was that this four-bedroom house we just upgraded to from a two-bedroom home would soon be put to use in a way neither of us could have imagined.

Our being content in our circumstances rapidly changed with a phone call from the Highway Patrol. What we couldn’t expect that Sunday morning was that the trooper, within minutes of taking the call, would be in my home describing how my brother, his wife, and three of their eight children had been killed in a motor vehicle collision in Lawrence County, Missouri. Reeling with shock, I simply did what I have become known for, I put it all aside and began caring for my family as any good cop would. I remember the night our lives changed vividly. Lying in bed, with one of my brothers two orphaned girls in a crib near our feet, my wife turned to me and described that we knew what we needed to do.

This same woman who had never bore children, never felt the joy of motherhood, never opened her soul in that manner, had lowered her proverbial barriers and opened her heart to two little girls. Within months, we would become the parents of a smiling one-year-old and an inquisitive two-year-old. Through tragedy the lives of multiple people were changed. The home we purchased was now filled not only with two little angels but with laughter, joy, and the sounds of family love. The woman I was fortunate enough to find has welcomed motherhood exceptionally and the girls have enhanced the lives of so many through their joy, compassion, and kindness.

I often think about the blessings I have received in this life, and simply sit in reverent appreciation. Looking back now, I can visualize how everything aligned perfectly for my little family. Events and circumstances, years prior, set the foundation for our life today. My wife and I joke often about how when she chose me, she never could have imagined the turn her life would take. In reverent excitement she simply replies, when I joke, that she wouldn’t change a thing because in us, she found true life, true peace.

So many times, we question why things happen the way they do. Many times, we are left with a lack of understanding. What I’ve learned, simply, is the life I knew before the girls was good. The life I have now far exceeds any expectation I ever could have imagined. The greatness of life as a father has been bestowed upon me once more and I will revel in the opportunity with each passing day. Welcome the unknown, my friends. For it is in the opportunities that we can find true peace and true blessings.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from nine to 29.