Finding enjoyment in the process

I spoke recently about how Lilli had experienced a disappointing result from her last cross-country race. Competing in the final race of the season yesterday, she rebounded. Following a week-long series of modifications, strategizing, and telling herself she would do better. She did in fact perform awesome and brought home a medal.

As I stood, watching the final race it began as many before had. Lillie excelled and remained in the lead pack of runners the entire race while her sister, Riy, was content to do her best, soaking in her surroundings and making new friends towards the rear of the pack.

For anyone who knows Riyann, her best effort includes a great deal of conversation and all-encompassing smiles as she forges her way along the cross-country world. Not quite as advanced as her sister, within the sport, Riyann takes in all the advice you throw at her and seems to forget it all once the starting bell sounds. As I watched my youngest yesterday, struggling to keep up with the other athletes it became apparent to me that this beautiful child simply cared little about the outcome but rather centered upon the experience.

Understanding not all kids are excited about, committed, nor able to perform within the harsh world of cross country running, my wife and I have praised Riyann about her commitment and genuinely giving the sport a shot. At the same time, we have explained the sport isn’t for everyone and if she chooses not to take part, we were fine with her choice because we were proud of her for giving it her all and following through with her commitment to her school, coaches, and community. Each time we bring the subject of her continuing within the sport, Riyann assures us she likes being a part of the team and wants to continue.

Watching her struggle forward at last night’s race my heart fell for the little girl who found it difficult to find a breath in her tired little body. As she rounded the final corner, finish line in sight, the only words I could summons were “you’re doing great, time to kick it in and pass the girl in front of you.” Looking as if she fully understood but hadn’t decided if it was worth the effort or not, she summonsed the last ounce of energy in her body and finished the race. Upon catching her breath, I watched as this tired little girl transitioned from student athlete to cheerleader as she quickly made her rounds congratulating the other students then ultimately finding a place near the finish line so she could do her best to encourage the boys who had begun their race.

As I watched my child, loudly cheer on the little guys, regardless of their affiliation, her words of “come on, you can do it” sounded throughout the valley and to be quite honest, summoned a great deal of pride within me. For Riy, I realize, winning the race was a great idea and being lucky enough to win a medal would be awesome but more important than either of those was simply being there. She thrived on being a part of the team and running along as parents, grandparents, friends, and foes cheered the athletes onward. My child has found contentment in simply being included.

How often do we get so caught up in the eventual end result of whatever we are engaged in that we forget about the beauty in the process? Regardless of it is career, education, athletics or our everyday search for the all mighty dollar, so many times we focus on what we can eventually win or achieve we forget to think about all of the people, things, and experiences along the way. As we move forward in life may we always be strong enough to follow the lead of a little girl from Van Buren, Missouri, who has withstood the pain of training, agony of defeat, soreness, and exhaustion merely to be a part of the bigger picture. Hopefully, we can stay focused and truly care about finishing the race while embracing all the awesomeness that is present along the way.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from eight to 29.