Encouraging a joyful noise

While relaxing following a long, pretty much uneventful day, a year or so ago, my wife and I began conversing as we often do about our children. It was then that she enlightened me into what would become a point of comedy within our lives and a truly “inside, unspoken” joke between she and I.

As described, we were in deep thought when my wife revealed that our daughter, through her juvenile efforts, truly was a terrible singer. She described that she overheard both children singing and one was rather good but the second was not destined to be heard within that realm. She described that the child’s effort were spot on, but her use of fluctuation and tone was absent and unfortunately unretrievable. Suffering from the same fate, I simply agreed considering my wife is as close to a professional singer as one can be. With a voice pure and angelic, the tones and smooth conversion of words to music is mesmerizing, a gift I have never obtained. For me, I have found myself destined to fantasizing about leading the band, singing and sending a message through song to countless others but never attempted to carry out the task for fear that everything within ear shot would surely suffer and the displeasure of many animals within hearing distance would be heard, long and loud.

Encouraging the child to find other avenues while, to be honest, lying to her about her abilities became the norm. As each year concludes, and the pending talent shows at school move closer, we move into damage control, trying our hardest to encourage her to engage in other options then showcasing her vocal abilities. Thus far we have been successful. With my for the most part forgetting about the topic I let my guard down. That was a mistake.

While relaxing, thinking of nothing but the current movie we were watching, my wife and I found ourselves alone while the children played downstairs in the rooms. Without notice, my phone rang with a notification of a pending message. Being unconcerned, I noticed that my child had sent me a video message. Upon opening it My little princess began explaining that she truly loved a poster she had on her wall and decided she wanted to sing it to me. Without further notice the child began singing the words. Sitting motionless, I experienced the unspeakable terror my wife spoke of previously. As her rendition of the written poem concluded, I looked at my wife in disbelief. Without notice, my child called me and asked me how I liked her song. Without hesitation I described that she did great, and I was glad she chose me to share it with. Cautioning her about allowing her friends to catch a glimpse of her greatness, she agreed she would hold off sending the video to others. Seeing the gleaming within her eyes as her father praised her brought me joy and validated her.

Although we would love to say that everything our children do is perfect and worthy of constant praise, our children are human and sometimes… it’s just not that great. Therein lies true task of the father and mother. While encouraging our children for greatness, we must teach them that sometimes we have to just let go and do our best, then clothe ourselves in the reality that even though it’s not the greatest it is ours. My child’s voice will surely not win a contest, but you know what? It makes her feel good. It brings her joy, and truly that’s alright. My job is simply to build her up with dignity while simultaneously doing our best to shape a workable, realistic, future for her.

Richard J. Stephens lives in Carter County and is the father of three little ladies ranging in age from eight to 29.